


Lost life (in the dark)

by lilyroughe



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Death, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Incest, M/M, Out of Character, Parent/Child Incest, Rape, Underage Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-14 00:08:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5722234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyroughe/pseuds/lilyroughe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The nightmares are not that scary as the thing that happens in the dark...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Потерянная жизнь. (В темноте)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/168979) by annsmith. 



Louis has a fear of the dark not because of the monster that is hiding under his bed. Not because of wardrobe's door that opens with a screech, as if some kind of a beast is hiding behind it. He has a fear of the dark because of quiet shuffling footsteps that are heard in the corridor out of his room. He hears them very often. He hears them when their house is smothered in the darkness. He hears them when their owner is sneaking up to him and the boy is trembling, hiding under his blanket, wiping his tears and sniffing his nose. Louis shouldn't cry, because _he_ will be angry, _he_ will make the pain unbearable.

Louis is not afraid of the sound of the door opening. This sound horrifies him, makes his throat contract.

'Please don't. No. Not today, please,' nobody hears the boy whispering quietly, but mother often says that there is someone living in the sky. The God. He hears everything and helps everybody, that's what mother says.

But God has **never** helped the boy.

'I know you're not asleep, Lou,' the quiet voice that follows him in his nightmares says. But the nightmares are not _that_ scary as the thing that happens in the dark, 'you shouldn't pretend that you are. I'll help you fall asleep. Let me sing you a lullaby.

The blanket is bluntly pulled out of his hands, his fingers couldn't keep hold of a protective textile anymore. Louis raises his eyes and sees him. Sees his huge silhouette, standing by his bed. Why do people say that monsters don't exist?

His father **is** a monster.

'Dad, _please_...'

'Hush, love, you know that we _shouldn't_ be heard.'

Louis screws up his eyes. He imagines that he is standing on the seashore. He's absolutely alone, enjoys the sound of the waves, the warm wind, which is fluttering his hair, and the squawking seagulls.

The boy's bed sags under the weight of man's body, the boy's mouth is being closed by a hand that stinks with alcohol, his back arches because of the pain, the man's palm muffles his scream and fingers penetrate into the small body, he harshly squeezes the boy, leaving bruises on his thighs. Louis screams somewhere inside and nobody hears this scream. He relies on God, he still hopes that God will hear him, help him, take him away from the monster's grip.

But nothing happens.

Only heavy breathing of the man, muffled cry of the boy and the screech of the bed is heard in the room.

-

Harry clasps the boy, who so desperately tries to break loose from his grip, to his bosom, he is about to cry, but he shouldn't so he fights his tears back, clenches his teeth and clasps the boy closer and closer to him. He knows that he hurt Louis, but it is the only way to make the other pain go away. The pain that seized tight on Louis soul, the pain that destroys him on the inside.

'DON'T TOUCH ME! PLEASE, DON'T!'

Harry wants to close his ears, but his hands are occupied with holding Louis. He feels the treacherous moisture of a tear that slid down his cheek, but Louis continues to get away from his arms. Harry will not be able to retain him for long.

'That's me. That's Harry. Harry. I'm here with you...I won't let anybody hurt you anymore...'

The boy freezes in his arms and tears replace the fear that he had. Louis sobs, closing his face from Harry with his hands.

'It's only us who are here. Just you and me. Alright?'

'I'm sorry...I'm so very sorry...'

'Let me make you some tea'

Harry lets the boy off and as he does it, he feels the cold fingers on his shoulder.

'No, Harry,' Louis eyes are filled with uncontrollable fear and Harry holds his tears in. 'Don't leave me please... don't leave me alone...'

'I won't.'

Harry puts Louis in his bed, covers his still trembling body with a thin blanket and runs his hand through Louis' hair. He sings a lullaby. The lullaby that his mother used to sing to him when he was a child. Now he sings it for Louis and it's the only thing that turns smile back on his face. If it even can be called a smile.

The trembling gradually stops, the breathing becomes even. The sleep soothes Louis, though not for long. Harry would like to soothe him as well. But he just bites his fist, preventing himself from screaming that is about to break out of his chest, suppressing the pain of his helplessness. He would like to feel something except for the blank despair. He would like to hear the sincere laughing of Louis, who is now frowning in his sleep.

But he _won't_ hear it.  
The light in their room will always be turned on but it _won't_ save from the nightmares they have.


	2. Chapter 2

The nightmare doesn't stop. The fear of the night follows him. Even in the daytime, even surrounded by friendly kids he's afraid of teachers. He's afraid of every rustle, every movement. 

Everybody avoids him, they think that he's lunatic and Louis actually doesn't mind because he doesn't want people to get closer to him, he doesn't want them to touch him. Because every time someone touches him, his head aches and it gives him collywobbles.

He hears the footsteps not often, he hears them once a month. The boy has read books about werewolves. Maybe his father _is_ one of them? But they don't write in the books about the thing that his father does to him. They don't write anything about hardened, rough fingers that penetrate Louis' body, about the thick member that makes him scream. They don't write. They don't write. They don't write.

' Mum, is father...' Louis stops for a moment, his hands are shaking so he hides them under the table. 'Is father a good person?'

'Your father is **the best** person, isn't he? Is something wrong, sweetheart? Have you quarreled with him?' Her eyes are caressing, just like the sun and the boy doesn't even know how to tell her that his father may not be as good as she thinks he is...that he may behave just like the most terrible monster. The boy can't tell her.

'No, we're fine. I don't even know why I asked.'

'Alright, baby boy.' His mum is laughing and is just about to pat his back, but Louis takes fright at her gesture and dodges her hand. 'Lou?'  
'It's high time for me to do my homework.'

Louis runs upstairs right into his room, hides under his bed and just seconds later hears shuffling footsteps. But it isn't dark yet so there's nothing to be afraid of. His father won't touch him, because it isn't nighttime yet.

 

-

 

Harry is awakened by the sun, shining through the curtains. He abruptly looks at the other side of the bed. There's nobody. The sheets are cold and Harry's hands start to tremble.

'Louis?'

It's silent. The night was silent as well, there were no nightmares and Harry knows that he should be happy that Louis slept well, but he can't relieve his anxiety.  
'Louis? Where are you?'

Louis _never_ leaves him. Louis always shyly shakes his shoulder to wake him up.

Harry jumps out of his bed and dashes to the bathroom, he feels sick and is about to throw up, but the wave of nausea stops when he finds nobody in the bathroom. Nobody is lying on the floor in the pool of his own blood with his veins cut. Harry knows that Louis has promised him not to do that and Louis hasn't ever tried to break his promise, but this fear always stayed with him.

And will stay with him forever.

'Louis.'

Harry isn't calling for Louis anymore, he is just whispering the dear name leaning against a cold wall. He buries his face in his hands and bursts out sobbing. Harry doesn't try to stop himself from his feelings, he can cry now when Louis is not here. He loudly screams into his hands without restraining himself. That is what happens with a person, when there's no hope. No hope for happiness, for ordinary life without fear. All that he feels in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening and especially in the night is the fear. The fear has become his life. The fear for Louis.

Harry hears the front door being opened so he hides in the bathroom. Louis shouldn't see him crying, he can run away again, thinking that it will be easier for Harry to live without him. Harry knows it's not true. He knows that he won't be able to live without Louis.

'Harry!'

Harry stops crying when he hears the high notes of Louis' voice.

'Coming!'

He opens the tap and normalizes his breathing. He strokes his hair down, washes his face with cold water, which soothes and sobers him.

'I need to talk to you! I need to talk to you Harry!

'I'm coming!'

Louis is nervously walking to and fro in the room lightly trembling. And Harry is just waiting for what Louis is about to say.

'I must do it.'

'Do what?' Such a stupid question. Harry already knows the answer.

'I must kill him.'


	3. Chapter 3

Louis passes his fingers over the bruises on his hips. He scratches them, tries to get them off his skin. He wants to get rid of them along with his skin and the dried cum on his small of the back. There's no tears left. There isn't anything left. All that the boy has is a deep dark hole made by the monster in his chest, the blood that stained his tormented body and the pain, which the boy got used to feel.

'Louis, wake up, it's high time for going to school.'

In the daylight the monster turns into a human. Into a responsible employee, who successfully performs his duties. Into caring father, who drives his son to school.

But what happens in the dark?

Louis starts and turns around when he hears the door being opened: an insignificant crack, which makes him feel weak in his knees. He grabs the blanket and covers himself. 

'I'm already awake, father.'

Why is his smile so sincere?

Why?

Why?

Why?

The smile confused him at first, he thought that he lost his mind after the time when he heard the quiet footsteps in the dark. After that first time. He thought that he had had a nightmare, but the little boy couldn't understand why does he hurt all over?

'You look bad, sweetheart. Didn't have a good sleep?'

Only some 'nightmares' later, the little boy decided to tell his best friend, dad, about them. He decided to tell him about his fear of the dark. He decided to ask why did he hurt all over after those nightmares. And his dad just smiled then and said that everything was going to be alright, that they were all just dreams.

'Just bad dreams', Louis wants to spit this abominable person in the face, wants to shout that he still can feel the disgusting taste of his semen on his tongue, but the fear paralyses him. 'Dad.'

This word strikes him. Strikes hard right into his heart.

-

Louis keeps his eyes on an empty street, runs a finger down the window glass, starting from time to time, as if he was scared by a loud noise, but there is hardly any noise. Their room is completely silent. 

'I must. I must. I must. I must.'

Louis looks out of the window and Harry looks at Louis. He looks at his lips, which constantly repeating only two words. Harry wants to come closer to Louis, hold him tight, touch his ear with his lips and whisper quietly, that he shouldn't do that. All he should do is stop being afraid and trust him, because Harry will protect him and will never let him go.  
'Louis, it's time for you to sleep,' He gets dizzy because of thinking what their life would be like if they lived just like ordinary people: without nightmares, without of fear of being touched, without the burning desire to kill. 'Go to bed.'

Louis breaks off and looks at his bed, but he doesn't look at Harry, as if he looks through him. And then he turns to the window again, his lips start to whisper those words that stuck in his head again.

'Louis, please.'

The boy doesn't respond and ignores him, so Harry comes closer, slowly drawing Louis to himself.

'NO! NO! PLEASE, NO!'

'It's Harry,' he curses himself, he mustn't scare Louis, he mustn't touch him until the boy allows him to, he mustn't bring him even more pain. 'Let's go to sleep.'

Louis isn't trying to break away from Harry anymore, he looks at him with sorrow, biting his lips.

'I'm sorry, I'll try not to get scared. Just forgive me.'

'It's alright.'

They freeze for a while, looking at each other. And Harry genuinely thinks that Louis' idea is not that bad actually. If it wasn't for this monster, they could have been happy, they could have been free.

'I will help you.'


End file.
